Step right up, step right up to CARNIvore, Satan’s demonic carnival, held right here in Milwaukee! Come on in, you’ve already paid the admission with your soul. Follow the taunts of hell’s carnival barker and see if you fall to the depths of freak show. Don’t be scared, you’re one of us now.
Get comfortable and enjoy yourself, because you’ll be spending eternity with the Devil’s carnies. Meet homicidal Siamese twins, fire breathing freaks, even the spawn of Satan himself. Your sense of reality will warp as you pass into the midway. Show you’re not the pipsqueak you look like and ring the bell at our feats of strength, but don’t let the head get mouthy when you come up short.
The Devil has given us this playground, and he brings us new toys to play with every day. They hop off the Scare Lift and obediently come straight to us, one after the other. You should see how happy the geek is to rip their heads off with his mouth. The way they squeak when the knife thrower splits their eyes will fill you with a kind of satisfaction you never knew in life.
Embrace the freak inside and become one of us. Inside the CARNIvore, pain brings so much joy!
After a final trip down the midway, you come at last to the end of the terror on The Hill. You’ll start to recognize some of the outside world. There’s the Umbrella Bar, just like you remember it. You might laugh at yourself or your friends for being scared. You were never really in any danger, were you? Don’t be so sure of the reality you’re taking for granted.
Even after you leave, they’re still watching. Just because you’re outside doesn’t mean you’ve escaped. You will always belong to them. The Hill will always be there, and The Hill Has Eyes!